“A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.”
Francis Bacon
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October 2008
© 2008 Linda Feinholz.
If I were to make a guess, it would be that you’re hearing an average of 6,294 messages a day about how bad a disaster the economy is, how everyone is going to loose their jobs, the roof over their heads, and even the ability to put clothes on their backs.
Even if I’m overestimating your exposure by a factor of 100… that’s 62 times a day when the despairing ghosts are moaning at you from behind the curtains and the goblins are haunting you from your radio and TV.
Well, all I know is I don’t need to hear whispers sixty-two times to put me off my dinner. Once, twice, three times is enough to give me the creeps. So my survival technique for surviving the ghouls is to remember the walk in the woods when I was growing up.
I remember creeping through the woods by our house after dusk. Every snap of a twig or brush of a leaf made me jump. I had that reaction even when I’d walked the same path easily in daylight a mere few hours before.
And of course it was even creepier when I was walking with other kids, as we all stirred each other with mutterings of fright – building a sense of helplessness and impending doom.
In the same way as that path was just fine during daylight, things are just fine when you shut off the radio and TV, put down the magazines and newspapers and focus on what you DO have control over. Continue Reading
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How do YOU solve deadlocks? You know – those situations that become immovable because each party is sure they’re right and the other side is wrong.
‘Deadlock unlocking’ is a critical skill for managers. Without it, work just simply gets stalled.
While I’m happy to help my clients solve what is going on, my goal is to transfer repeatable skills and processes to them so they become more adept at solving the situations themselves.
The starting point of unlocking a deadlock is to get clear about the starting point of the conflict – the exact difference of opinion that is being held by each party.
The second step is to jointly list the criteria each person had in mind when it all started.
Once those two lists have been spelled out – a new list is created by both parties together so that the joint expectations can be met collaboratively.
So, instead of waiting for ‘them’ to see it ‘your way’… ask yourself:
“What is ONE issue I’ve been in a deadlock on with another person?”
Got that name in mind? And the topic as well I expect.
Now pick up the phone and set up an hour to get this unlocked and solved.
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